I only have my family, my blog, and a handful of friends with me. I’m feeling so low now…like nothing could get me out of this slump ever. I don’t feel deserving of my position in my college right now. I don’t feel that I deserve even a tiny sliver of blessing from God, with all the things I’ve messed up on, and all the second chances He’s given me that I threw away. I don’t deserve to be the daughter of two parents who give me all the love in the world and who work so hard to send me to school and with little reward. 

I know that God only knows what is to become of my life after this. Maybe this is because I still don’t actually know what I really want in life. Or maybe not. I don’t know anything, period.

I’d just like to sleep and never wake up. I want to escape. Call me immature, for I am.